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For people that don't naturally have good social skills, it can be like solving a puzzle.
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- Glenn Ligon, a black visual artist who is openly gay, recalls that as a child coming of age in the 70's, he always felt there was a space in black culture for openly gay men. Bathhouse courtship rituals usually involve a period of aggressive flirtation -- often heavy and deliberate staring.
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- I ask them what the difference is between being on the DL and being in the closet.
- McDonald did, and what she learned floored her.
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And if there are some DL guys willing to take the risk -- to jeopardize their social and family standing by declaring their sexuality -- that contempt doesn't do much to convince them they'd ever really be welcome in Manhattan's Chelsea or on Fire Island.
They see black men who do come out either as having chosen their sexuality over their skin color or as being so effeminate that they wouldn't have fooled anyone anyway. But black men on the DL typically say they're on the DL for life. Consider these last lines of a DL college student's online profile.
But it's hard for people to accept that something that seems so intimate and inborn to them as being gay or straight isn't universal. Unlike many other DL guys, who never tell anyone about their private lives, Chi opens up with little prompting.